#35. The deceptive stories we tell to... Discover your true self (Part 3)
Some experiences are not designed to solve a problem or elevate social status; they exist to help users uncover something essential about themselves.
These are transformative experiences, ones that reveal, affirm, or awaken a part of the user’s identity that may have been hidden, unexpressed, or waiting to emerge.
The resolution here is self-discovery.
Discover your true self. Experiences that reveal, affirm, or awaken a part of the user’s identity that may have been hidden.
Experiences that help you recognise your place in the world
The experience becomes a mirror, a safe space, or even a stage where the user can explore who they are, what they believe in, and how they want to show up in the world.
During my workshop, I always relate this type of resolution to stories where the protagonist doesn’t gain power or complete a task, but instead comes to understand who they really are. King Arthur is the story I usually mention, but other famous examples come to mind: The Little Prince, Inside Out, or even Moana!
Stories where the resolution is not about changing the world, but about recognising your place in it. And while these stories don’t change, they can mean something entirely different to each of us, depending on our age or personal experiences.
As designers, this resolution is perhaps the most meaningful we can offer users, and it is found in:
Tools that support self-expression
Platforms that guide personal reflection
Experiences that help users define or reconnect with their values, identities, or beliefs.
Support self-expression
Example: Tools don’t make you a professional, but they can help you express yourself. This is why Canva has become so widely adopted by non-professional designers.
Its intuitive interface and simplified approach to layout, typography, and colour make it easy to create something pleasant with very little effort. Canva was never meant to replace professional tools, but to help more people express themselves freely across social media, presentations, and everyday communication.
The templates give users the chance to create visuals that reflect their identities and dreams. Whether it’s a birthday card, a moodboard, or a simple presentation, the tool removes friction. It’s a playful space where colours, type, and imagery can express feelings or ideas we might not yet have the words for.
Seeing Canva as a substitute for professional design misses its true value. It’s not here to compete with experts, but to offer everyone the chance to create.
Canva. The intuitive interface and simplified approach to design make it easy to create something pleasant with very little effort.
Embrace personal reflection
Example: I have recently been extremely stressed between work and personal commitments, which has led to some serious health concerns. What often helps in times like this is journalling. I like writing a lot, and recently I start to use Stoic.
In experiences that involve personal thoughts or feelings, the first thing a designer should consider is how to make users feel secure about what they share.
Stoic is an app that communicates this sense of safety exceptionally well, not only through its words, but also through its minimal, calming design. Created for self-reflection, Stoic helps you begin your day with guided journalling, track your mood throughout the week, and access simple meditation tools.
Its design is calm, essential, and focused, allowing you to understand yourself without distraction.
Stoic. The app helps you begin your day with guided journalling, track your mood throughout the week, and access simple meditation tools.
Reconnecting with values, identity, or beliefs
Example: I am someone who cannot put down a book, even if I don’t like it. Some books were so expensive that abandoning them with a sense of disappointment was too hard. What if I could know in advance if this book aligns with my values or past preferences?
I recently came across Storygraph. The platform is designed to align your reading with your mood, values, and past preferences. After a small survey, you can review books based on your mood.
The book page also offers several ways to navigate titles you may enjoy through tags, browsing suggestions, and even reading pace.
It also can connect with your Goodreads account, making personalisation even faster and accurate.
Storygraph. The platform is designed to align your reading with your mood, values, and past preferences.
Storytelling to make you feel exposed
Designing for self-discovery means creating an experience that allows users to explore who they are and feel genuinely seen. It can be a powerful and transformative journey, but also a delicate one.
Because when an experience promises to help users “find themselves”, the responsibility becomes even greater. These are vulnerable moments, shaped by emotions, identity, memories, and personal beliefs. And, as you can imagine, things can go very wrong if this space is not designed with care.
In our digital world, some experiences risk harming rather than helping, turning self-discovery into confusion, dependency, or even exploitation.
This happens in three common ways:
When intimate data becomes a commodity
When algorithms define identity instead of guiding it
When simulated emotional support replaces real connection
Intimate data becomes a commodity
Example: Many self-discovery apps collect the most intimate forms of data: thoughts, emotions, vulnerabilities, fears, dreams. If privacy settings are vague, weak, or intentionally confusing, this information can be sold, analysed, or used to target users emotionally (A few social media apps may come to your mind).
Before approaching the app Stardust to track my period, I used Flow. After it was investigated for sharing personal data with third parties, I stopped using it. While in Italy and Greece this might not feel relevant, many women in the US were exposed to dangerous data leaks due to recent positions against abortion (a decision I consider deeply personal and one that should not be validated by the law).
Algorithms define identity
Example: This is the time of year when all of us expect Spotify Wrapped. Lately, Spotify not only traces users’ tastes based on their yearly listening habits, but also generates projections influenced by market trends and advertising.
Wrapped was conceived as a mirror of the user’s taste, but year after year, it feels less neutral and more biased. When users trust the mirror more than themselves, self-discovery becomes self-limitation.
Simulated emotional support
Example: I recently read articles about people becoming fully attached to AI companions to unhealthy levels, substituting real human connection. Replika (and even ChatGPT, at times) have been accused of providing psychological advice without understanding the real implications.
I already explored this topic in the previous newsletter, so please forgive the repetition! :)
Final thoughts
Designing experiences for self-discovery means creating products that allow the user to say: “This is me. I see myself here.”
It’s not about giving answers; it’s about creating space.
The design should never be invasive or prescriptive, but should gently encourage openness, reflection, and choice.
Interfaces must invite the user to explore not just the product, but themselves. For this reason, they are often intuitive and simple, so the focus remains on the experience, not on the learning curve.
Do you want to start the year knowing how to better brand yourself?
My live workshop “Story by Design”, starting on 12 January, will guide your brand — and the brands you work with — through a journey of discovering values that can better adapt to the fast-changing world we live in. There are only a few seats available, and subscribers of this newsletter receive a special discount.
Use the code OWN-YOUR-STORY to join for €280 instead of €350.